Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Randomize
