Kareoke will never be a sober sport
If that was your dad, he is hot
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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