you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
