dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So vagazzling was a success
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
