I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
