My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
