Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
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Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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