I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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