pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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