Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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