I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
