my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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