Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
