just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
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I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
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I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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