meet me or not, i'm out of control
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
