looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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