I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
