If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
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