I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
