So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
