youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
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it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
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Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
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