I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
