susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
