the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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