i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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