tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
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