problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
