First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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