Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
