I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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