Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
