I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
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Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
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Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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