Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
