i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
The air taste purple.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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