why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
