Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
