So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
