i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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