there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
my poor anus
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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