Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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