what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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