happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
