she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
bring money and cleavage
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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