he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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