I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
