yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
