I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
