I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
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