It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
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