that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize