That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Randomize
