shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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