I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize