question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
