Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have feelings that need drinking.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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