One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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