this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
