can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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