Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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