why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
