i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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