I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
