During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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