The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Randomize
