The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
