if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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