I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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